I woke up yet again this morning with a dry mouth, dusty lungs, charred skin and painful nerve endings racking my body. One would think that I had spent hours walking along the Pacific Coast Trail next to burned underbrush in the dry heat. In fact, I had many nights and mornings like this in the past two years and a half years. Spirit walks at night and rough morning landings.
The scorching burning sensations and feeling of nails electrocuting my body 8 inches above my physical body deemed to be something out of hell. I began my ascension process in a state of shock-unable to move, think or function. As I came to, my body and mind began to shift in an entirely unthinkable direction-pain, pure spiritual, physical, mental pain. It happened slowly at first, but then I was confronted by my nightmares so vivid I thought I would die. Every night was a new script including war, murders, visions of my childhood, scenery from lives I might have lived. I was being taken by spirit to another dimension. I lived between two realities, the spiritual and the physical. As a result, I was not able to fully exist in my physical reality due to the nightly travels. I was helpless to change anything, care for my children, and function normally.
I felt so alone and afraid. Was I going crazy? Had I lost it? No, I was experiencing the Dark Night of the Soul. Many mystics and saints have documented such an experience. It is an experience worse than childbirth, but similar. I was giving rise to a new me, complete with contractions, expansions, and even convulsions. I had many nights when this began in 2013 that I felt abandoned by God. I felt that the Devil himself had decided to inflict fire and pain so great that even the angels would not come near. Anger and rage poured through my body as tears erupted like hot lava through my eyes. I was in crisis and no one could help me. I had to go through it alone.
Ascension is more than a divine process that we go through to expanded consciousness, it is rebirthing the true you as you were born before karma inflicted itself on you. Unfortunately, to be released to such a state, we must burn away the karma from this life and others. I experienced a spiritual emergency. Spiritual emergencies are like psychotic states where you live in two worlds, the realms beyond and the physical, while being conscious of both at the same time. Famous psychologist Carl Jung experienced this and wrote about it in The Red Book. Saint Theresa of Avila, a known Catholic mystic saint, had radical experiences that would have burnt her at the stake if she was not such a devout nun. Even I was borderline, in terms of possible hospitalization. There are many who have gone and will go through this process that will never come back sane and grounded. However, I was resolved to maintain my groundedness and stay here on earth, despite the fact that my soul was clearly ready to go Home. I survived and now have stabilized.
Burning Karma releases your need to be dependent on anyone-pure detachment. The physical strength needed to get out of bed is tremendous. Mental strength and the ability to assess and analyze destructive patterns are also key. Karma is about repeating cycles, but to break from it, one must know the pattern and stop it. Spiritual strength is the most important. Despite the pain and fear, I never stopped believing that God would save me. I would never stop believing that I was not being protected. Despite the Dark Night, my clairvoyance and clairaudience was growing stronger. My guides and angels told me what to expect before sleep every night, allowing me to prepare and accept the journey I would travel that night.
The beginning of this process is something no one would ever want to experience. However, it does get better. The fires cool and you learn to stop resisting. Once full acceptance is reached, you come to realize that you are not alone. The angels have been with you the whole time with love and light. They are also the surgeons who work on you, “downloading” new data to allow you to free yourself from your karmic cycles.
I have processed my soul’s karma in chronological order, each year taking approximately a 6-8 weeks to clear. Some years are better and worse than others. I still have two years left to process. My true self is finally shouting I’m free! and I shine!
I am most grateful for my readers who are willing to consider this experience with an open mind. We cannot all believe or understand such experiences, but do know they are real. To live through it is to know.
Love and Light!
Note: If you read this and are in the middle of this experience, you are not alone. There are many others like us out there. Have faith and learn to listen to your guides. The light is shining on you and you will soon be free! You are also welcome to reach out to me. There are several books and resources that I recommend to help you and your loved ones in this process.