Yes, today is my birthday. I was born @ 5:15pm in Columbia, Missouri 37 years ago. That was my real birth, but today, I am the real me.
No, I am not going to go into some large spiritual diatribe. Read the rest of my blog and you’ll get the gist.
But here it is in a nutshell. Yesterday, I was hit by a car while standing still. Not a great start to my birthday holiday. Whiplash and shock, yet not in shock at my reaction. I had grown, no longer needing the excessive attention of my needy inner child. I got well wished on facebook, which meant a lot and felt needed.
However, I have been battling with an ego death. A true spiritual awakening includes losing all the inauthentic parts of yourself. I have experienced many and seen them die, ultimately crossing over to the other side. However, I have this very sad, angry, and troubled little girl who’s been living in me. She needed a lot of attention. She would often out act in ways that people didn’t understand, especially as a grown woman. She needed to let go and trust God.
My whiplash woke her out of her rage. I had a energy healing session this morning. Despite the stress my body went through yesterday, I was feeling well enough to get there. I am so glad I did! Ok, if you are a sober person, you might want to skip past the next paragraph. It turned out an energy from my mother was still in me and my angry inner self who was holding all she had on to me left. I saw them. It was an exorcism nearly worthy of the film. No, pea soup, that I assure you.
The most amazing thing happened next. My body was empty. It was like a conscious in/out of body experience. I was fully present on the table, but all of the energies that blocked me left. Then I was filled with golden, light pinkish, purplish light, like on a beautiful sunrise. Then I saw a team of angels find my real self, adult size with legs and arms, mind you, and carry and drop it into my body. I was me. I am finally living in my body. My inner child was also reborn. I saw her. She’s still with me. Cooing and playing happily in my body. Soft and sweet and energetic. And she will grow. She will grow into a magical being that we can use together. And then, I realized this is one of the greatest birthday gifts I could ever receive. I finally can let all the love in that everyone has for me and be filled up.
Being filled with love was never easy for me. I never felt satisfied with what I got. I always needed more so I could feel safe. I don’t know if this will continue or not, but I can say, I feel loads of gratitude in it’s place. For instance, my friend Carrie, in this picture (see right) invited me for birthday cake lunch! Oh Joy says the cake! That’s how I feel. Thank you everyone who has loved and supported me on this journey. I hope to be a beacon of light and support for each of you. I hope in 2017 to give more than I receive, but also to care deeply for this baby who lives in me. I want to make her important before giving to myself or to my clients. She will be the living example of what it means to be a spiritual revolutionary.
I also want to thank so deeply the number of people following this blog. I am doing it for me as a catharsis, but also for you. We’ve had a rough year, but 2017 is a 1 year in numerology. That means leadership and activism. I pledge to stand up and be joy. Will you?
My favorite birthday gift: great friends and cake-dancing is also possible and maybe a little singing. The ego deaths have released my need for most material things,
and reminded me that a little joy with your friends goes a long way.
Love and namaste!!